Post-Midterms Twofer (Part 2): RCYSN - Expiration Dates are Important

My boss stumbled upon a "deal" today: a bunch of Good Humor Strawberry Shortcake Bars on clearance for $0.27 each.  His reaction was what you would assume - "holy crap on a keyboard, that's AWESOME!"  He bought them and brought some to the pharmacy to share his good fortune, 'cause he's cool like that (read: I want a raise).  He opened one and took a bite.

Now, when you bite into a Strawberry Shortcake Bar, the general reaction is akin to that of a puppy on heroine having sex with a Cadbury Cream Egg.  You get that goofy, happy look on your face as you taste the cake coating, which only intensifies as your taste buds register the strawberry ice cream.

His reaction was somewhat more subdued.  In fact, his facial expression reminded me of the time in fourth grade when I was playing soccer, tripped, and fell face first on the cow pasture we used as a pitch.  Something was horribly, horribly wrong.  There's something excruciating about the incongruity you experience when you expect to taste something rapturous but actually receive a chilled turd.

Needless to say, it was expired.  This was probably why they were on clearance.  We looked on the packaging, but it had no expiration date.  Because he's kind of obsessive, my boss called Good Humor customer service to see if they could help him find the expiration date, but after a 45 minute hold time they told him that the expiration date was on the box, not the individual bars.  How unfortunate.

However, we were able to come up with a bit of evidence for our theory that they were expired.  At the time these bars were created, Good Humor was running some sort of sweepstakes, and the basic rules were printed on the wrapper.  The aforementioned rules stated that the sweepstakes would officially end in January.  Of 2010.  He ate a milk based product that was obviously past its expiration date by more than a year.  I hope he doesn't die.

PS.  Don't forget to read the post just below this one - it's a Post-Midterms Twofer, and you don't want to miss out on my near-death experience!